19 5 / 2013
how to give a good handjob
- bop it
- pull it
- twist it
- harder
- better
- faster
- stronger
You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!Cha cha real smooth
none of you ever touch a penis
(via fantasticallybrilliant)
14 5 / 2013
when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned
Or she hasn’t spotted you in the tree yet.
ITGOTBETTER
(via foreveralone-lyguy)
14 5 / 2013
you can still be thick and have a thigh gap ....
you can still be thick and have a thigh gap
This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.
07 5 / 2013
the hell is this Prince of Persia?
THE STUFF THESE GUYS ARE DOING IN VIDEO GAMES IS NOT POSSIBLE THEY SAID. IT’S NOT VERY REALISTIC THEY SAID. HA!
Trinityice, you dipshit. It’s Assassins Creed.
(Source: eduardolion, via charlie--sheen)
01 5 / 2013
01 5 / 2013
THIS COMMERICAL TAKES LIKE THE BIGGEST TURN FOR THE WORST EVER AND I DON’[T LIKE IT
OH MY GOD
YOU GUYS THIS IS AN ACTUAL COMMERCIAL
WHAT
Welp, i disagree. I liked the video. I think it made my day oh my god.
I am fairly certain this is the best thing ever.
(Source: lightemup2chainz, via somethingfromthedeep)
29 4 / 2013
- 1: can i borrow a pencil
- 2: i don't know, CAN you?
- 1: yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious
28 4 / 2013
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
children wake up early because they still get excited about life
this is the saddest thing I’ve seen on here
(via dark-snake)
24 4 / 2013
i don’t understand why parents say ‘i’m very disappointed in you’ like i don’t care i’m very disappointed that mcdonalds doesn’t deliver but u don’t hear me complaining about it
actually in new york they deliver so whats your excuse
i live in australia and im 103% sure they don’t deliver from new york to australia so whats YOUR excuse for leaving a shitty comment on my text post
(via foreveralone-lyguy)
24 4 / 2013
there’s a snake in my bathroom and it’s being a lil shit and knocked everything off the windowsill and won’t get down from the showerhead now
listen buddy i’m glad you came out of the sink cupboard and used the clothesrack ladder i made for you to climb up to the window but please leave through the hole you entered don’t just sit there and glare at me fucker
i’m guessing you’re from australia…?
(via charlie--sheen)
24 4 / 2013
